An unusual title, I know. Maximum of you might not agree with me but this can only be understood by those who face the situation.
I was also like you only who loved to be at home, being at home, ghar ka khana, parents love, grand parents extra love that too without any return from us. Some how these days are not like always. Now I don't feel like coming back to home from office or even if I come I just sleep all the time, get up and go back to office.
Otherwise also this is my regular schedule because of my job timings. I work for US so my work starts in the evening and ends up at late in the mid night or I should say just before an hour in the morning. I dont understand from where I should start but I have to write to if I mix up the things, sorry for that.
Stressed because not feeling that any one love me, stressed because everything is there for you if you have money, stressed because no value of an individual, stressed because people say what they want to and you keep shut just because that's your upbringing, you don't say anything because you know there is no one at your back, stressed because you love someone and no one else, stressed because the one whom you love is always good with you irrespective of the situation and you at times scold her because you are stressed, stressed because you own parents are in their so called ego that they can't see you stressed because of this, stressed because you are trapped in your stupid job, stressed because you just have self confidence but no money to convert your dreams into reality, stressed because you don't allow to dream............. and the list is long
I know its very easy to pen down all the problems but if you say it once that you can overcome with all than you will for sure. I have given this lecture and all such psycho stuff to alot of people and it helped them in many ways. I talk to myself and give all these lessons, thats why I am still alive and never given up as of now.
However, at times I feel as if I am done. Its high time now, not because all this love thing but otherwise also. I have no one with whom I can share what I feel, I don't have that one shoulder jispe mai sir rakh k ro saku. Since childhood, thanks to all the positivity lessons I have got and given to others I almost forget that I also have life and I also have right to feel good.
Whomsoever I loved, left me because I being over humble ad they felt that they are not suitable for me. Saying yes to what your parents say doesn't mean you don't have your own dreams, its just that you give them more importance that you own. But I personally feel that they should also think about us. I being a guy got n number of opportunities where I can ruin their image by getting into wrong habits but nothing happened till date. Never asked for anything, never become stubborn for anything be it my career (which you choose or what I wear) than why I am DO NOT have right to ask for just one thing?
Half of my life I have spent with you, as per you and now if I want to spend my next half life with the one whom I love, than whats wrong in it. I choose that person not because she is beautiful or I am in blind love with her. I choosed her because I know what kind of upbringing she had and how best she can be part of my family and take good care of everyone. I am not leaving you, I am not going against you, I am not doing anything which you doesn't like. I just want you to understand what I want, where my happiness is. Just want you to understand that whatever you give to me for next half would be best as per you but I wont be happy.
I have always sacrificed my happiness, my life for everyone. I don't want any return for that because whatever you as parents have done for me, I can not pay back even if I die for you. I respect you that's why I always keep myself zipped and never say anything. But at times this silence develops great pressure inside me and which come out as big fight between us.
I am almost 30 and still doesn't have this much guts to speak directly in front of you about what I feel. What else you want from your kid. Guys of this age are ready to leave their parents and do what they like not what their parents want. I won't say that I am best but at least I am better than many. I know may be I haven't given any happiness till date by not taking science in 11th std, by not clearing by graduation exam, by not able to get selected in IAS and by not being like your daughter. But I have given you enough respect, I stand along with you everywhere, be it happiness or fight.
I know I have ego, i utter shit when angry, do you ever think that from where this came inside me? I don't blame you for it but I will surely blame you for me being humble, respecting elders, silent (when it comes to my need).
When I spend my time at home, I feel as if I am among all those people who are just full of money, who have forgotten their past, who have forgotten that we were also poor one day, who forget all those lessons which they give to others that money doesn't matter, what matter is how down to earth you are. This is what being down to earth is that you are in your ego that you won't call. No man, this is not being humble and saying that you are ready for everything. You are just playing around and using all your political tactics to ruin my life.
Khud ka mann hai toh 1 din mai 5 baar call ho rahi hai wo bhi usko jis se officially apka koi lena dena nahi, khud ka mann hai toh ghar mai usey rakha jaa raha hai jo apke sirf saath kaam karti hai aur waise rishtedaar bhi bojh hai, khud ka maa hai toh bura bhi acha hai, otherwise acha bhi acha nahi, khud ka mann hai toh red light cross karna is shaan, hum karey toh ego, khud ko acha lagey toh BPO sector was worst but now do not leave the job and earn more heights in this. Abey sab kuch apke mann se, pehnchod hamara koi mann hi nahi, hamari koi zindagi nahi, hamari koi life nahi.
Please don't be so harsh that I stop respecting you and YOUR family. Its been almost 30 years I am giving test of my patience, I will give it agey bhi but at least let me take one step as per my choice. At least give me a chance... STOP thinking that whatever I do or suggest is uber crap and baseless.
Please do not make me feel stressed at my own home, among my own family members. Please I beg of you, don't show me your money and try to buy me with them.
I was also like you only who loved to be at home, being at home, ghar ka khana, parents love, grand parents extra love that too without any return from us. Some how these days are not like always. Now I don't feel like coming back to home from office or even if I come I just sleep all the time, get up and go back to office.
Otherwise also this is my regular schedule because of my job timings. I work for US so my work starts in the evening and ends up at late in the mid night or I should say just before an hour in the morning. I dont understand from where I should start but I have to write to if I mix up the things, sorry for that.
Stressed because not feeling that any one love me, stressed because everything is there for you if you have money, stressed because no value of an individual, stressed because people say what they want to and you keep shut just because that's your upbringing, you don't say anything because you know there is no one at your back, stressed because you love someone and no one else, stressed because the one whom you love is always good with you irrespective of the situation and you at times scold her because you are stressed, stressed because you own parents are in their so called ego that they can't see you stressed because of this, stressed because you are trapped in your stupid job, stressed because you just have self confidence but no money to convert your dreams into reality, stressed because you don't allow to dream............. and the list is long
I know its very easy to pen down all the problems but if you say it once that you can overcome with all than you will for sure. I have given this lecture and all such psycho stuff to alot of people and it helped them in many ways. I talk to myself and give all these lessons, thats why I am still alive and never given up as of now.
However, at times I feel as if I am done. Its high time now, not because all this love thing but otherwise also. I have no one with whom I can share what I feel, I don't have that one shoulder jispe mai sir rakh k ro saku. Since childhood, thanks to all the positivity lessons I have got and given to others I almost forget that I also have life and I also have right to feel good.
Whomsoever I loved, left me because I being over humble ad they felt that they are not suitable for me. Saying yes to what your parents say doesn't mean you don't have your own dreams, its just that you give them more importance that you own. But I personally feel that they should also think about us. I being a guy got n number of opportunities where I can ruin their image by getting into wrong habits but nothing happened till date. Never asked for anything, never become stubborn for anything be it my career (which you choose or what I wear) than why I am DO NOT have right to ask for just one thing?
Half of my life I have spent with you, as per you and now if I want to spend my next half life with the one whom I love, than whats wrong in it. I choose that person not because she is beautiful or I am in blind love with her. I choosed her because I know what kind of upbringing she had and how best she can be part of my family and take good care of everyone. I am not leaving you, I am not going against you, I am not doing anything which you doesn't like. I just want you to understand what I want, where my happiness is. Just want you to understand that whatever you give to me for next half would be best as per you but I wont be happy.
I have always sacrificed my happiness, my life for everyone. I don't want any return for that because whatever you as parents have done for me, I can not pay back even if I die for you. I respect you that's why I always keep myself zipped and never say anything. But at times this silence develops great pressure inside me and which come out as big fight between us.
I am almost 30 and still doesn't have this much guts to speak directly in front of you about what I feel. What else you want from your kid. Guys of this age are ready to leave their parents and do what they like not what their parents want. I won't say that I am best but at least I am better than many. I know may be I haven't given any happiness till date by not taking science in 11th std, by not clearing by graduation exam, by not able to get selected in IAS and by not being like your daughter. But I have given you enough respect, I stand along with you everywhere, be it happiness or fight.
I know I have ego, i utter shit when angry, do you ever think that from where this came inside me? I don't blame you for it but I will surely blame you for me being humble, respecting elders, silent (when it comes to my need).
When I spend my time at home, I feel as if I am among all those people who are just full of money, who have forgotten their past, who have forgotten that we were also poor one day, who forget all those lessons which they give to others that money doesn't matter, what matter is how down to earth you are. This is what being down to earth is that you are in your ego that you won't call. No man, this is not being humble and saying that you are ready for everything. You are just playing around and using all your political tactics to ruin my life.
Khud ka mann hai toh 1 din mai 5 baar call ho rahi hai wo bhi usko jis se officially apka koi lena dena nahi, khud ka mann hai toh ghar mai usey rakha jaa raha hai jo apke sirf saath kaam karti hai aur waise rishtedaar bhi bojh hai, khud ka maa hai toh bura bhi acha hai, otherwise acha bhi acha nahi, khud ka mann hai toh red light cross karna is shaan, hum karey toh ego, khud ko acha lagey toh BPO sector was worst but now do not leave the job and earn more heights in this. Abey sab kuch apke mann se, pehnchod hamara koi mann hi nahi, hamari koi zindagi nahi, hamari koi life nahi.
Please don't be so harsh that I stop respecting you and YOUR family. Its been almost 30 years I am giving test of my patience, I will give it agey bhi but at least let me take one step as per my choice. At least give me a chance... STOP thinking that whatever I do or suggest is uber crap and baseless.
Please do not make me feel stressed at my own home, among my own family members. Please I beg of you, don't show me your money and try to buy me with them.
